Outpost’s Deliciously Diverse Dessert Bars

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Hey, check it out! Outpost Natural Foods is rollin’ out the barrel of tasty variety with a pleasing potpourri of delectable dessert bars to suit any taste and any diet. If you go-go vegan, they’ve got Chewy Granola Bars, packed with oats, raisins, peanut butter, walnuts, wheat germ, and sesame seeds. They’re crispy, nutty, sweet, ‘n good. If you roll gluten free, hit ‘em up for one of their Gluten-Free Marble Cheesecake Bars, whose chocolaty goodness and creamy divinity convey the sumptuousness of edible velvet. If you don’t do wheat or dairy but you do munch oats, dig Outpost’s Sheba Bars, which are kinda like sorta healthy Rice Krispie treats cuz they’ve got that fun, sweet, I’m-a-kid-again chew to ‘em from brown rice crisps. And if you eat what you want when you want cuz you’re your own man or lady or cuz you’re not limited by dietary restrictions, the good folks at Outpost’ll set you up with one of their Chocolate Indulgence Brownies. Just before my tasting at Outpost, I went to a brewing demo at Anodyne and sampled some fine coffees, and I wished that I had a cup of that luscious liquid heaven in my hand while I savored the succulence of that spectacular brownie, which, I’m ashamed to say, I didn’t do justice to with that blurry photo up there. But I made up for it with that tantalizing pic of the savory Sheba Bar, right? Right. And regarding perfect pairings, have no fear, Slammers, cuz the Food Slam’s gotcha covered on October 7, when you’ll be throwin’ back brownies, dippin’ ‘em into Purple Door’s magnificently melty espresso ice cream, and washing it all down with a steamy cuppa Anodyne coffee–all at once, simultaneously, at the same time, concurrently, the way Nature intended.
And hey, my crystal ball’s showing me that Food Slam tickets will be sold out within a week. Seriously, Slammers, tickets are currently well over 70% gone, daddy, gone, and there are still almost two weeks till the event, so you best scoop up some tix before they vanish like my fleeting–but accurate–powers of intuition.

–Erin Harris

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3 Responses

  1. Outpost does DANGEROUS desserts. Indulgence is a beautiful thing, and I’m glad Outpost understands the need.

  2. You’re killin’ me. I just started a fast, and tomorrow I’m hittin’ the Outpost for the juice I need. You’re tellin’ me I gotta ignore these bars for 3 days? You just made my fast 74% more difficult, and it’s not like I’m a man with iron will power. In fact, I’m trying to purge the toxic build up of many years of loose livin’.

    If I make it, despite all of your efforts to the contrary, I’m celebrating at the Food Slam.

  3. @ Becky B. — You’re darn tootin. Indulgence is the spice of life, and you got Outpost’s number–they do it right. Thanks for your comment!

    @ Bob — Apologies, homey, especially if it’s 92% more difficult. But I think you’ll make it, if only cuz these bars’ll give you some light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your eyes on the prize, yo. See ya at the Slam!

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